Why MB Should Not do the Laundry

2 Blogs in one day! Gheesh! I am going to get burned out on this whole blogging thing! Guess I just have a lot to catch you up on!

Normally, every Sunday evening Drew treks to the local Laundromat with a week's worth of dirty laundry while I go grocery shopping. However, this week, we were unable to accomplish our laundry on Sunday, and thus, I volunteered to do it today on my day off. Laundry became "Drew's Chore" because of the super sketchy and shady laundromat we used to go to that was more like a half-way house than a laundry facility. Drew felt threatened just stepping foot into the building, let alone sitting on a couch/homeless person's abode. Long story short, Drew eventually got so scared that he ventured off to another laundromat. This was a great move! A clean, air-conditioned, affordable, non-sketchy laundromat! Who knew such a place existed? Anyway, this was the only reason why I did laundry today, because I can now feel safe doing so!

So I lugged the huge basket of clothes down our stairs, into my jeep, and eventually into 3 washers and 1 dryer respectfully. So far, so good, except for the minor detail of accidentally purchasing fabric softener instead of detergent (an error easily remedied, mind you). All in all it only took me about an hour to wash and dry said clothes, and then I returned home with a basket of fresh, warm, and still slightly damp clothes (let's be honest, no matter how long you dry 'em, they never fully dry at a laundromat). I have to be honest, I was a bit proud of myself....a bit too proud! I actually enjoyed the quiet hum of the machines. Peace. Solitude. No wonder Drew escapes to the laundromat while I scour the aisles of mass-produced, discounted grocery items, comparing listed prices to my coupons and meal list for the week, with 10,000 other wives and mothers. I nearly have an anxiety attack every time I go down the international aisle! "Laundry is the easy chore!" I said to myself.

It was all fine and dandy until I attempted to rescue my workout pants from the pile of clean, but unfolded clothes. I decided to hold off on folding the items until after Zumba. Big mistake. I now know why Drew folds them as soon as they come out of the dryer at the laundromat. The clothes were a tangled mess! It was like playing a Barrel of Monkeys, but with socks, towels, panties, bras, and of course, stretchy exercise pants! You see, I've always been a bit of a "bull-in-a-china-cabinet" according to my mother, and so instead of patiently un-tangling each item, I just searched for my exercise pants and when I found them, pulled! It was a game of tug-of-war between me and a towel, and I refused to lose! So I pulled, and they stretched, pull, stretch, pull, stretch, and rip! Shoot. Rip? Where did these pants rip? Or was it the towel? I searched every seam in my pants and found no rips, so I naturally assumed that maybe it was the towel after all, or maybe it was just a seam that stretched in my pants. No damage done,  so I sighed, put on my workout clothes and headed to Zumba.

3 songs into Zumba, during a side lunge to a salsa song, I noticed a peachy color around my thigh. Hmm...what is that? Upon closer observation I noticed that it was a dime-sized hole on the inseam of my pants. BLAST! Oh well, it was tiny, and I could fix it when I got home. That is, if the hole did not stretch and spread....and it did. Of course it did. A few songs later, I saw in the mirror another hole. NO! When I examined this, I discovered that my entire inseam was coming un-sewn and spreading. It was only a matter of time until the rip made it all the way up my hind side, and I was in the front row with 2 rows of women behind me, and mirrors all the way around the room. NO. WAY. I was not about to show all the ladies behind me such an unfortunate view, while ghetto dancing to a reggaton song. Maybe in a Shakira video such a disgrace would be accepted, but not in my midwestern Zumba class. Not today.

I kindly excused myself from class for the rest of the evening.

See, this is why Drew should stick to laundry.

MB